monday monday

This weekend was good.

I got two new pairs of shoes last week. I tell you what, it feels pretty luxurious. One pair of running shoes, one black pair of dress. On Saturday we went shopping for me, and found a dress for me to wear for the upcoming wedding. It is amazing how stressed out I was getting. If only I could go in black lounge pants and a nice t-shirt...and of course my new kicks.

I am tired today. I feel like I shouldn't be, but am.

I had a doctor appointment today. Everything was good. After my next one, I will go every other week. Today I was measured for the first time! I think I am 24 centimeters, whatever I am, it was right on track. The heart sounds good, and everything is ok. The next visit I will do the glucose test, which I am not looking forward to. Last time I did two in the office before they sent me to do the three hour one. Ugh. I hope I don't have to do that again. This time I will get to get blood drawn in the morning, which may help. The blood lady is this awesome black lady who told a story about how she took her kid down, or something. She was pretty funny, in a no nonsense way. She did a really good job though. In Lincoln, the people who drew blood were young peep's who didn't do such a good job. So it sucks when you have to get stuck four times, and they aren't especially smooth.

I have had some introspective days lately. They are kind of hard for me, sometimes I just want to forget about all the things I think about. Usually something starts me thinking, and I really have to work through it. I am learning to accept that there are things that I really want to change, but am just not going to be able to. I am trying to figure out the way to be gracious, and forgiving, and loving, and mature. It is hard to be those things when you have things that you hang on to, not because you are out for revenge or full of spite, but because they have almost become a part of your identity. After you get offended, or hurt, or whatever, so many times, you learn that is how it is going to be, and you just have to deal with it. I just have parts of my life that aren't how they should be, and it isn't my fault, but that is how it is. So I need to figure out how to allow God to fill that part of me, and be the best I can be, for me, for my husband, and for my family. My kids don't need to inherit my baggage.

Emma has her asthma kicking in again. I wonder if allergies can cause that to act up. It isn't as bad as it was when she was little, but she gets these fits that I hate to listen to. I feel so bad for her. We give her a breathing treatment and that seems to help. It makes me grateful for the medical care we have available. Without her treatments, I hate to think how bad she would cough.

Last week we had storms. There were a few tornadoes, and very strong wind. We got some good pictures of the sky before it hit, I'll have to put them up.