Yesterday, while at the store in the cereal isle, Emma points over and exclaims, "puppy!". I said, no no, there's no puppy. Silly girl. But wait...she was pointing at the tiger. You know the one. She was really excited about it. I think that there is a tiger on more than one kind now too. It seems a little early for them to be hooking my baby, but the marketing seems to be beginning it's magic. Oh boy.
I feel kind of crummy this week, just the last few days I guess. I'm trying to visualize my body getting ready for labor, but it isn't always helpful. Last night I had a moment of terror when I realized that if a person needs Midol, then what the heck is this going to be like?????????
Then I fell asleep.
8.29.2008
8.27.2008
party time
This morning I woke up very excited. I found a moms day out program in town, at a church. There are three ladies who watch children for two hours, while you do anything your heart desires. So, Emma and I got up, ate, dressed, and headed downtown.
The actual church building is beautiful. It is an old brick traditional style. We found the room with no problems. I filled out my paperwork and Emma stayed very close to me, looking around at the other children, and strayed a few feet away to grab a few toys, then was reeled back into me. When one of the ladies came and sat down next to us, Emma gave her one of her toys, so I knew it would probably be ok. I hung the diaper bad on a hook, told my dd good-bye, and walked out. I did my normal no-no, hung outside the door for a moment, made sure I didn't hear wailing, and peeked back in to see how it was going. She was fine. Not ecstatic, but fine.
I then headed to the library on foot, just a block away. I was about 20 minutes early, and after trying to figure out if I should go get coffee and just bring it back to the library, or go mail my letter, or how to fill the time, the best idea dawned on me. I just sat down on the bench. I just sat. I watched the cars drive by, I looked at the church across the street. I noticed the houses, I enjoyed to crisp air. I just sat. It has been a long time since I just sat, by myself, somewhere enjoyable. I didn't feel lazy, or that I was being inefficient. I felt like I was enjoying a small town morning, waiting for the library to open.
Which it did.
But they did not have any of the books I was looking for. Courtesy of the best magazine in publication, Real Simple, I had a long list of fiction to try. But after looking for several, I went to the catalogue, which was not working. The artsy librarian informed me that had been the case for two weeks, and showed me where there were new books stacked, so I might try looking through these. After searching for the remaining books on my list, I did what I normally do anyway, just picked two totally random books based on the cover, the back, and one or two sentences from the page that it fell open to. We'll see.
Then, I walked to the coffee shop. I ordered a regular cup of coffee, half decaff, which really confused the worker. I believe it was three times that I assured her that yes, just a regular cup of coffee would be great. I don't know how much of it was actually decaf, but she tried. I sat at one of the quaint little tables that had a wine bottle serving as a vase for a single plastic flower, and read a magazine. I enjoyed a blueberry scone, and enjoyed the mindless joy of flipping through pages.
Meanwhile, Emma was having a ball. When I walked through the nursery doors to retrieve her, she looked at me, sort of acknowledged me, and walked the other way. This is a first. Even times when she has had fun, such as the gym or church nursery, she has always been very excited to see me, and put on a good show about how distraught she had actually been. A dramatic tot, to be sure. Today was an exception. She resumed playing. She picked up a few toys and was very concentrated. I went to her, and asked her if she wanted to go home. She gave my leg a big hug, said mommy, and walked away again. It was a really good feeling, to know that she really did have fun, and she was fine. I don't have to worry :) When we walked out the door to the hallway, she refused my hand, and ran ahead. She was not ready to come to me. She's getting a little independent. After we had picked up my husband for lunch, she thought she didn't need any help climbing the stairs into the kitchen. It wasn't but a moment, she then came back down to earth, and reached for her daddy's hand.
She she proved that she really isn't a baby. She is ready to do new things, explore, meet new people, and act like a big girl. Even though she still needs our hand.
The actual church building is beautiful. It is an old brick traditional style. We found the room with no problems. I filled out my paperwork and Emma stayed very close to me, looking around at the other children, and strayed a few feet away to grab a few toys, then was reeled back into me. When one of the ladies came and sat down next to us, Emma gave her one of her toys, so I knew it would probably be ok. I hung the diaper bad on a hook, told my dd good-bye, and walked out. I did my normal no-no, hung outside the door for a moment, made sure I didn't hear wailing, and peeked back in to see how it was going. She was fine. Not ecstatic, but fine.
I then headed to the library on foot, just a block away. I was about 20 minutes early, and after trying to figure out if I should go get coffee and just bring it back to the library, or go mail my letter, or how to fill the time, the best idea dawned on me. I just sat down on the bench. I just sat. I watched the cars drive by, I looked at the church across the street. I noticed the houses, I enjoyed to crisp air. I just sat. It has been a long time since I just sat, by myself, somewhere enjoyable. I didn't feel lazy, or that I was being inefficient. I felt like I was enjoying a small town morning, waiting for the library to open.
Which it did.
But they did not have any of the books I was looking for. Courtesy of the best magazine in publication, Real Simple, I had a long list of fiction to try. But after looking for several, I went to the catalogue, which was not working. The artsy librarian informed me that had been the case for two weeks, and showed me where there were new books stacked, so I might try looking through these. After searching for the remaining books on my list, I did what I normally do anyway, just picked two totally random books based on the cover, the back, and one or two sentences from the page that it fell open to. We'll see.
Then, I walked to the coffee shop. I ordered a regular cup of coffee, half decaff, which really confused the worker. I believe it was three times that I assured her that yes, just a regular cup of coffee would be great. I don't know how much of it was actually decaf, but she tried. I sat at one of the quaint little tables that had a wine bottle serving as a vase for a single plastic flower, and read a magazine. I enjoyed a blueberry scone, and enjoyed the mindless joy of flipping through pages.
Meanwhile, Emma was having a ball. When I walked through the nursery doors to retrieve her, she looked at me, sort of acknowledged me, and walked the other way. This is a first. Even times when she has had fun, such as the gym or church nursery, she has always been very excited to see me, and put on a good show about how distraught she had actually been. A dramatic tot, to be sure. Today was an exception. She resumed playing. She picked up a few toys and was very concentrated. I went to her, and asked her if she wanted to go home. She gave my leg a big hug, said mommy, and walked away again. It was a really good feeling, to know that she really did have fun, and she was fine. I don't have to worry :) When we walked out the door to the hallway, she refused my hand, and ran ahead. She was not ready to come to me. She's getting a little independent. After we had picked up my husband for lunch, she thought she didn't need any help climbing the stairs into the kitchen. It wasn't but a moment, she then came back down to earth, and reached for her daddy's hand.
She she proved that she really isn't a baby. She is ready to do new things, explore, meet new people, and act like a big girl. Even though she still needs our hand.
8.25.2008
no baby no baby no baby no baby (like no batter)
yesterday at 3 p.m., i said, i am going to go into labor in the next 24 hours. it is now 3:43, so my announcement was obviously wrong. oh well, on we go
emma said "nice" today, while we were walking to go have lunch with my awesome husband. it was nice out, i told her, and she agreed. she says cheese very well now, and pizza. she gets a new word almost every day.
we saw a house that we liked yesterday, but i looked it up today and found that it was listed about 130k above our range. ouch. but we like all kinds of them, including where we are, so we have no complaints.
emma said "nice" today, while we were walking to go have lunch with my awesome husband. it was nice out, i told her, and she agreed. she says cheese very well now, and pizza. she gets a new word almost every day.
we saw a house that we liked yesterday, but i looked it up today and found that it was listed about 130k above our range. ouch. but we like all kinds of them, including where we are, so we have no complaints.
8.23.2008
nothing creative
emma is trying to pose...
yummy something
putting daddy's shoes on
at the arboretum in kansas
the arboretum. it was a really nice day.
8.21.2008
a page from our current chapter
well, to start with, here is a personal favorite ofmine. this house is just across the street from us. i was too chicken to cross the street and take a closer picture, lest i become the weird new lady who takes random pictures in front our your house, so you can't quite see the sign very well. but, it is a hair salon, it is called the "rant and wave". now, that is a place right out of a novel, setting up the scene for you as a quaint little town with old ladies who walk around in curlers (i did see one walking down the street on my way to the park last week, on a cell phone no less) and men's clubs that meet at the barber shop and drink stale coffee in the mug that is theirs, kept on the barber's one shelf above the well used coffee pot. in our prior world, i choose from places with names like oliver's, salon 21, or salon bliss.
another of the top picks. i don't really have a commentary for this...do i need one?
ok...this gets the gold. this, my dear readers, is a pet cemetery. proudly displayed in the backyard of a small house littered with lawn ornaments. so there is one misty, and four of misty's friends. i have buried pets, but have never erected a monument for them. call me callous i guess.
lots of flamingos. i don't know what sound a flamingo makes, but lets insert it here _______.
my grandpa's name was palmer, so this is a bit nostalgic for me.
8.18.2008
here we are
We made it!
We packed up a truck last Sunday and drove out Monday morning. It was a long trip. But, we won't have to drive that again. It was a weird feeling, knowing that we may never be back there.
Last week my husband and I got a lot of the office type stuff done, we updated addresses, tried to put things where they needed to be, and I tried to learn the town. It's not Kansas City, so it shouldn't be too hard.
This is the first day of work for my dh. I remember feeling this exact way last year, on May 15th. He went to work, back to reality for everyone. I don't know a soul here (well, there are the aunts and uncles (: ), and am trying to keep busy and keep my sanity. Once again, it's a strange feeling to be alone, to not talk much all day, and to keep up some energy for the sake of the babe. I feel like I had just started to find a niche in KC, and then left. But, it was hard, and I don't think it was the place for me, or us. I think that we'll find some people to hang out with here, and then life will feel normal again.
I have been feeling different, physically, in the last few days. I feel myself really slowing down. My body just can't keep up with my mind. I get frustrated, because there is a lot I want to do, but just can't do it all, or even much of it. I really have to prioritize, which is challenging. There will be a time when I have energy, and am motivated again, it will just be awhile.
The baby room is all put together. We put the new crib together and arranged the room. I need a mattress pad, but that's all that is missing. It's kind of fun to go stand in there, and imagine a little baby. Once again though, I am going back and forth between being really excited, and being a lot of other things. It's just hard timing. Once I get into the groove I'll be fine, but it's scary thinking about the next 6 weeks. I don't know if I have ever been this scared. Maybe scared isn't the right word. I just, well, maybe it is.
The lovely town in which we now live has some fun things I'd like to share. I am going to take some pictures and show you how different it is here. It's been fun to see.
More later!
~due date: 10 days!!
We packed up a truck last Sunday and drove out Monday morning. It was a long trip. But, we won't have to drive that again. It was a weird feeling, knowing that we may never be back there.
Last week my husband and I got a lot of the office type stuff done, we updated addresses, tried to put things where they needed to be, and I tried to learn the town. It's not Kansas City, so it shouldn't be too hard.
This is the first day of work for my dh. I remember feeling this exact way last year, on May 15th. He went to work, back to reality for everyone. I don't know a soul here (well, there are the aunts and uncles (: ), and am trying to keep busy and keep my sanity. Once again, it's a strange feeling to be alone, to not talk much all day, and to keep up some energy for the sake of the babe. I feel like I had just started to find a niche in KC, and then left. But, it was hard, and I don't think it was the place for me, or us. I think that we'll find some people to hang out with here, and then life will feel normal again.
I have been feeling different, physically, in the last few days. I feel myself really slowing down. My body just can't keep up with my mind. I get frustrated, because there is a lot I want to do, but just can't do it all, or even much of it. I really have to prioritize, which is challenging. There will be a time when I have energy, and am motivated again, it will just be awhile.
The baby room is all put together. We put the new crib together and arranged the room. I need a mattress pad, but that's all that is missing. It's kind of fun to go stand in there, and imagine a little baby. Once again though, I am going back and forth between being really excited, and being a lot of other things. It's just hard timing. Once I get into the groove I'll be fine, but it's scary thinking about the next 6 weeks. I don't know if I have ever been this scared. Maybe scared isn't the right word. I just, well, maybe it is.
The lovely town in which we now live has some fun things I'd like to share. I am going to take some pictures and show you how different it is here. It's been fun to see.
More later!
~due date: 10 days!!
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