here i am

the moby wrap...it's worth every penny i paid for it. it's a long piece of fabric that you wrap around you, and you can hold your baby several different ways. he likes it, which is also a bonus. this was the first time i used it, on our first walk. ahh...

this was the first outing to the store. i talked with my m.i.l. in the van, and discussed how to proceed from that point. hmm... i'll keep you posted

i knew they had carts designed just for me. but i was not prepared for them. i spied three just inside the door, parked, on the opposite side from all the regular carts. i looked at these things, and noted the size difference, and just sighed.

this is going to be different. this is the stage i am in. no glitz or dresses or dressy clothes, no more running in and out of a store, no driving normal carts. no more adorable child who everyone comments on. now, i drive a tank, and am one of the people who you may try to politely ignore in the store, as i maneuver past you with inches to spare, trying desperately to keep order.

so, as with many moments in my life, especially lately,i paused, and tried to internalize the change.

life happens so gradually, i just have a hard time understanding when i became a mom of two, a lady who wears a lot of lounge clothes. when did anything that gets me out of the house past 7 p.m. become an adventure?

so this is my moment, captured forever. taking it well, don't you think?

but, needless to say, i am very happy. am i tired? oh man. am i overwhelmed, and nervous? :) am i full of ups and downs, and "fragile"? holy cow. yes, i am flooded with emotions, ranging from feelings of accomplishment to grave disappointments, times of incredible patience and times when i am sure that my hair will be in my hand before the clock strikes again.

joy, and frustration.

yet, i'm happy!