3.11.2008

I met a lady recently through I group I am in, and she shared with us that her father was sick. He had cancer, and they were hoping he would get well enough to receive chemo, and prolong his life a year or more. She spoke of him with such love, such genuine care, that one could not help but be moved. This gentle soul that she prayed for, and asked us to pray for, was unable to overcome the physical battle, and passed away on Sunday. I did not know him, I never met him. I barely know her, but for some reason I am really touched by them. Isn't it funny how that happens? I read the on-line journal of his sickness, and just cried. He was giving, and funny, and courageous. He didn't want his family to have to make hard medical decisions, he made them himself. He didn't want his family to go through what he was, he was glad it was him. It seems so sudden, he got sick, and he just couldn't get well.

Today is a quiet day for me. I prayed, I read scripture for today, I am just thinking. It is so cliche to say that life is short, and that we should be thankful for each day, but it is cliche because it is so so true. Life is delicate. We can't really shape it, we try, but it's not our job. Courage is necessary to trust that your life if full, no matter the length. Prayer is needed to ensure that you give of yourself what is asked, no matter how hard. Humility is needed to forgive and to love, no matter the circumstance. These are all things I strive for. Sometimes I need to really give myself a reality check, it is so easy to get caught up in this worldly world. To want a better this, a new that, more of whatever, less of the bothersome. But I am reminded through this beautiful life and this touching relationship that this lady is so gracious to allow me to glimpse, that these things are not important. If it isn't going to matter on that day, I need to let go of it today.

There are things I wish were different. I could spend a lot of time wishing, couldn't we all? There is a lot that will never be different, and things that will never be the same. Our life evolves, moves, changes, we grow. I pray that God allow me to be strong where I am and in who I am, I pray that I love those around me as I should, I pray that on this day, I appreciate all I have, and that on the day when that changes, I am able to celebrate the joy through the grief, as this family is demonstrating so well.

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